Winter is here, I want a patio heater

[SwampNut]

Winter started yesterday, and I'm already so fucking done with it.  Four days of rain?  Fuck this shit.

 

 

 

 

We use this space every morning, and I'd like to make it less winter-like.  I'm thinking that a radiant (IR) heater is the solution.  I have very easy access to both a gas line and to a 240v/50a circuit from here.  Like a lot of people, we had a pretty good reduction in the cost of natural gas lately, but also, our winter super-off-peak electric rate is only 3.4 cents per kWh.  So financially there's no usage-based incentive on gas vs electric, and it costs more to buy/install a gas heater.  Electric is also instant-on.  So I think electric is the no-brainer.

 

I have not been able to figure out sizing, and placement is kind of a question.  Here's where it would go.

 

 

 

Obvious mounting options:

 

Hang from ceiling.  This could be adjustable, somewhat, and should be pretty easy.  I can be positioned optimally relative to the seating area.

 

Use an adjustable, extending wall mount on the wall behind us.  This would limit the heat hitting us from the front, and I think we would want heat from the front?  Seems like a not-great placement.  Example:

 

 

 

 

Mount it angled towards us from the short overhang on the outside edge of the patio space.  It can face us directly, but is kinda far, nine feet from a person's body in the chairs.

 

And then, what size is needed?  I can't really get a good feel for that.  A high-power adjustable is an obvious answer, except the price scales super fast.  You go from 3k for less than $300 to 6k for over $100.

 

If you use one, I'd like to have your experiences.

 

[SwampNut]

You know, I guess I should really consider something this simple and cheap, with a NG conversion kit.  Just stick it between the two chairs.

 

[superhawk996]

5 hours ago, SwampNut said:

You know, I guess I should really consider something this simple and cheap, with a NG conversion kit.  Just stick it between the two chairs.

 

I like those, but I think you'd want one with a low base otherwise most of the heat will be above you.

 

If you go electric I agree that it should be in front and not behind you.  Patrick has a couple on the ceiling in his patio that work wonders as long as it's not too windy.  He's going to check the specs on them tomorrow.

[SwampNut]

Specs and pics would be great.

 

I agree on height, but there are no options other than to modify it.  Should be easy once I no longer need space for propane.

 

[Zero Knievel]

70 F isn’t winter. 🤣

 

You spin a cocoon when it hits 50 F?

[RXX]

What happened to your fire pit?

 

 

[SwampNut]

19 hours ago, Zero Knievel said:

70 F isn’t winter.

 

Well yes, of course, 80 is winter.  70 is GTFO.

 

18 hours ago, RXX said:

What happened to your fire pit?

 

 

 

Not useful for morning coffee.

 

[superhawk996]

On 10/11/2025 at 9:24 PM, SwampNut said:

Specs and pics would be great.

 

I agree on height, but there are no options other than to modify it.  Should be easy once I no longer need space for propane.

 

I'm too retarded to transfer a link from a text so...AKIRES electric mica infrared space heater.  2 pack on Amazon for $208.  The ones in the link have wireless remotes, when he bought them they only had pull cord switches.  I'm pretty sure his patio ceiling is a couple feet lower than yours, maybe you'd want to extend the bracket to get them closer.  Maybe an adjustable TV mount so you can swing them up and away when not needed.  Or put them under the chairs for an instant hot seat.

 

With little/no wind on high his sometimes get too hot, but I don't think I've been there on a truly cold (sub 60) night.  There have been a few times that he had them on without me knowing and I said something like "wow, I guess I've stopped being a pussy, it seems like I should be cold."  Then he points up.  I think they were on low at those times.  On high there's usually a bit of hot face/head feel, not bad, just obvious that there's a directional heat source above.

[Zero Knievel]

2 hours ago, superhawk996 said:

a truly cold (sub 60) night. 

Sorry….

 

🤣😂😅

 

[SwampNut]

10 hours ago, superhawk996 said:

I'm too retarded to transfer a link from a text so...

 

To copy anything on a phone, press and hold on the message, and you will get a menu of useful options.  Even other things besides copy.

 

10 hours ago, superhawk996 said:

I'm pretty sure his patio ceiling is a couple feet lower than yours

 

That's why I was hoping for photos, or maybe a description.  Where are they relative to seats/people?  Do they just point down, or at an angle to hit people on the front of the body?  My ceiling height is 10 feet, which is unusually high.

 

10 hours ago, superhawk996 said:

There have been a few times that he had them on without me knowing and I said something like "wow, I guess I've stopped being a pussy, it seems like I should be cold."  Then he points up.

 

Soooo...this either means you're unobservant, or they are long/medium-wave heaters?  Do they not glow?  I can't decide on short/medium/long wave.  Or maybe they just don't glow on low, but I think they all do if they are short wave.

 

This also leads to an electrical conversation, I need to get power from the box on the wall 10' to the East of the door.

[SwampNut]

Hah, the same company makes/sells the swamp cooler on the patio.  Truly a year-round solutions company!

 

So I found only one option available from that brand (didn't find a two-pack at all):

https://www.amazon.com/AKIRES-Wall-Mounted-Electric-Infrared-Backyard/dp/B0CC1NV251?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1

 

Which is pretty much like every other $100 patio heater, and that's great, since it means they all probably work just as well and are made in the same three Chinese factories.  So I can shop by features, like coming with adjustable brackets.

 

A 1500w heater produces 5100 BTU.  The glass tube style gas heaters are around 45k to 50k.  Hmmm....I guess I should make sure they are adjustable.  But this is pointing me to gas.  The 240v electrics are $$$$$.  Also running the power from that box would require a lot more work and dollars than the gas hose to the West corner where the gas connector is.  And that's if I go surface mount, hiding it would be a motherfucker.

 

 

[SwampNut]

8 hours ago, Zero Knievel said:

Sorry….

 

🤣😂😅

 

 

 

[SwampNut]

Huh...also...

 

 

They are very specific about this.  Maybe I found the wrong one?  Maybe it doesn't matter?

[Zero Knievel]

3 hours ago, SwampNut said:

 

[superhawk996]

10 hours ago, SwampNut said:

 

To copy anything on a phone, press and hold on the message, and you will get a menu of useful options.  Even other things besides copy.

 

 

That's why I was hoping for photos, or maybe a description.  Where are they relative to seats/people?  Do they just point down, or at an angle to hit people on the front of the body?  My ceiling height is 10 feet, which is unusually high.

 

 

Soooo...this either means you're unobservant, or they are long/medium-wave heaters?  Do they not glow?  I can't decide on short/medium/long wave.  Or maybe they just don't glow on low, but I think they all do if they are short wave.

 

This also leads to an electrical conversation, I need to get power from the box on the wall 10' to the East of the door.

I know how to do the press and hold, but I'd been drinking and was too lazy to try to be smart.

 

I think his patio ceiling is 8 feet.  The one I usually sit under is slightly forward of me and angled toward me, possibly perfectly aimed.

 

I'm pretty sure they glow on high, maybe also on low, but we're usually pretty well lit so it's not obvious.  Lit with lights, then eventually lit in other ways.

[jon haney]

On 10/11/2025 at 1:12 PM, SwampNut said:

Winter started yesterday, and I'm already so fucking done with it.  Four days of rain?  Fuck this shit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your dog appears confused as to why you need a blanky.  LOL.

[SwampNut]

24 minutes ago, jon haney said:

Your dog appears confused as to why you need a blanky.  LOL.

 

That's because he prefers our purple yarn blanket.

 

 

 

[SwampNut]

I thought I'd solved it.  A local friend suggested this, and it looked great.  Lots of heat, both down low and middle height, and I already buy pellets for the smoker.  The videos are beautiful.

 

 

 

 

But...nah, not that easy.  Did you know you can't use smoker pellets?  They take heater/stove pellets.  They only exist in cold places, and mostly North.  There, they cost around $0.15/pound, the best I can do is delivery from Home Depot in a week or so at 50 cents, which means $75/mo to run this thing, per their specs.  Also, it’s not electric-fed/fired like the smoker.  You fill it, and put in lighter fluid, and use a BBQ lighter to start it.  Sounds like a pain in the ass for an hour every morning.

 

Back to shopping.  Anyone have knowledge on LPG to NG conversions?  Half the sources say the kits are "mostly" universal and half say fuck no.

 

[blackhawkxx]

You could just stay in the house like normal folks in the winter.  Just saying.  😁

[superhawk996]

4 hours ago, blackhawkxx said:

You could just stay in the house like normal folks in the winter.  Just saying.  😁

Fuck that.  I was outside 'till 2am because I could, because there was fire.

[SwampNut]

6 hours ago, blackhawkxx said:

You could just stay in the house like normal folks in the winter.  Just saying.  😁

 

Unhealthy, boring, shitty solution.

 

Consistently seeing the sun in the morning has led to vast sleep and energy improvements.  Every day, period.

[SwampNut]

Promising.  The price is $100 lower than Amazon and $150 off list.

 

 

The Ninja™ Fireside360 is a new outdoor heater and propane fire pit that features 360-degree, head-to-toe warmth and smokeless flames, controlled independently via two dials for customizable ambiance and heat. It is primarily marketed as a premium, all-in-one solution for outdoor warmth and social gatherings, designed to be far more efficient and versatile than traditional tower heaters or wood-burning fire pits.

Key Features

• 360° Heat Distribution: The unit delivers up to 80,000 BTU output, warming users from shins to chin, not just up top like a patio heater.

• Smokeless Flame: Uses propane for a smokeless flame experience, making outdoor gatherings cleaner and easier to manage with no ash to clean up.

• Dual Controls: You can use flame only, heat only, or both together, with independent dials to adjust for personalized comfort.

• Easy Setup: The system comes with Ninja ceramic rocks, simple battery ignition, and easy connection for standard propane tanks. Start-up and shut-down are designed for safety and convenience, with no fuss or mess.

• Portability: Pick up and reposition the unit easily via the emitter guard.

• Outdoor Use Only: Designed exclusively for outdoor operation due to safety concerns—should not be used indoors.

• Stress-Tested: Engineered for durability, withstanding weather and environmental conditions.

Pricing and Availability

• Base models retail for approximately $399 at Sam's Club and $499.99 at Ninja's website, with bundle options at higher prices.

Use Case Highlights

• Excellent for areas with burn bans—provides heat without open embers or smoke, suitable for arid and wildfire-prone regions.

• Heats up very effectively with fast startup, but with high BTU output, propane usage may be substantial at high settings.

• Not suitable for indoor spaces or enclosed patios due to safety risks.

Summary Table

Feature	Description
Heat Output	Up to 80,000 BTU
Modes	Flame only, heat only, or flame + heat
Fuel	Propane (standard tank)
Operation	Dual independent dials, battery ignition
Price	$399–$499.99+ depending on bundles
Portability	Emitter guard for easy moving
Intended Use	Outdoor only

 

 

For homeowners seeking efficient, smokeless outdoor heat with flexible control, the Ninja™ Fireside360 stands out as a high-end, user-friendly solution.

[DaveK]

I’ve been waiting for the Ninja to go on sale. I was hoping for the $599 for $400 or less….was waiting for Black Friday. 

 

What website is that? 
 

I’d buy it now. 80,000 BTU’s is insane. 

[SwampNut]

Shit, didn't think to include it, Sam's Club.  In person and online.  If you don't have an account I can always order it to ship to you.  According to the AI dissection of the specs, it has both a body heater and an upward/radiating portion, with separate controls.  My only hesitation is space and what to do with the ottoman we have there now.  I think even on low this will be HOT, so have to find the place/space for it.

 

[DaveK]

I’ll take it. If you don’t mind.