Choosing to die young is always one option

[SwampNut]

Someone I've worked with very closely for about 20 years was found unresponsive yesterday around 4am, and taken to the hospital.  He was last conscious during the evening before.  That's where it stands.  There's no prognosis, but no outward sign of life.  He's about 45, and ridiculously obese.  A few months ago he realized there was a problem and decided to clean up his diet, and I talked to him at length about it.  But his idea was to replace one or two meals of absolute trash with some pre-made veggie meals from the store (which are often full of trash too).  I recall that at every in-person meeting he had a super-large McD shake or coffee drink (pretty much just sugar and milk), and whatever meal was appropriate for the time of day, from McD.  Or an extra meal for a mid-day meeting.  He wouldn't tell me, but his meal count seemed to number 6/day.  Burger, fries, sugar drink.

 

Nice guy, loved working with him, and I was always up for sharing more of my knowledge and subsequent responsibility/ability with him.  But there came a day when his aspirations into IT were thwarted; he could not fit between a row of servers and also bend and lift one at the same time.  He made a move from front line worker to department manager, organizer, and process manager.  Which was pretty much all knowledge work and all online.  (I had made this company fully remote-capable around 2010, and they obviously used it during the cooties, now all offices are shut down.)

 

I hope he pulls out of this and reconsiders life.  I hope his girlfriend, who eats exactly the same way, considers her own future.  Shit, if they decide to make changes, I'll go there and help.

 

[blackhawkxx]

The person with the problem has to want to change or nothing will happen.  That applies to all things not just eating.  I hope your friend gets a second chance.

[02XXCA]

Sorry to hear, I hope he makes a recovery, and makes needed changes to live a healthier life.

[SwampNut]

Obviously there are some privacy issues on giving me answers, but basically he's alive, and I've been asked to give access to all his accounts to other people.  So, not dead, and not returning to work.  I could text him, but at this point he needs to focus on himself.  I may just send an encouraging message later without questions.

 

[SwampNut]

Well, he died this morning, of general bad health, like a 90 year old.  Also malnutrition.  It seems shocking at first that you can be obese and suffer malnutrition, but the standard American diet is sadly incomplete.  Make it a fast food diet, and sheesh.

 

[racer212]

My sister is 45. I hate admitting it but shes not a good person - but shes my sister.

 

I last saw her on one of my runs through AZ when I dropped in on my mom (sister still lives with her). She's maybe 5'2" and had to be 320+lbs. She has been diabetic since age 8 - and never managed it worth a fuck.

 

She got really really sick in January and was in the hospital a week when they said "complete kidney failure-irreversible". She's now totally dependent on dialysis. At her weight no one is going to contemplate a kidney transplant for her. Shes basically working her job to keep her insurance to keep on dialysis. 

 

My doctor buddy and I talked about it - an otherwise fit/healthy-ish person on dialysis has a life expectancy of 3-5 years. That shit is hard on you. And she's in terrible shape.. shes more or less giving up and wallowing in depression. I'd fix it if I could but shes gotta do it.

 

Dad has been gone 22 years. Mom is 75 and pretty fit but having wear and tear issues. Ive always known I'd end up the last of my nuclear family - but I'm afraid that day is coming faster than I thought.

[TFT]

Sorry to hear this.

It always amazes me when it is quite obvious someone has a weight/health problem but refuse to do anything about it.

One of my wife's friends is extremely overweight. My wife has tried to help her diet and get on a healthy exercise routine but to no avail. Her friend will start on a diet but immediately modify it to suit her needs (so she says) Which means it is no longer a weight-loss diet. She starts by listing all the foods she refuses to give up which includes all the cokes she drinks every day. And she loves to cook and she loves pasta. She keeps getting bigger and bigger. 

Oh, and she's pissed because the company she works for requires her to pay a higher insurance premium because of her health.

 

[02XXCA]

On 2/28/2023 at 3:14 PM, SwampNut said:

Well, he died this morning, of general bad health, like a 90 year old.  Also malnutrition.  It seems shocking at first that you can be obese and suffer malnutrition, but the standard American diet is sadly incomplete.  Make it a fast food diet, and sheesh.

 

Sorry to hear.

[SwampNut]

13 hours ago, TFT said:

It always amazes me when it is quite obvious someone has a weight/health problem but refuse to do anything about it.

 

Food addiction is just as real as meth or heroine addiction.  We've also got a society that is driven by consumption advertising, and we subsidize Coke and Twinkies, but not broccoli.